Paper, parties, and candy
by Vianerd
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby get assigned to purchase two piñatas for a kids' party in the Park, and then it is to be expected that everything goes awry - especially when said piñatas are Fergy and Paulie. Professor Pester decides to stay true to his name and tags along as well to wreak havoc with his Ruffians. Just a regular day at the Park like so many others, except... yeah, no way!
1. Better late than never

_This is a crossover. Only because I like both these cartoons a lot. Yeah, that's just about it. It works. Except maybe not really. I doubt anyone will even read this as it's such a weird crossover. Anyway, have fun - if that's even possible. :P Actually not an one-shot, gasp!_

_Edit; I stupidly referred to Mordecai as being nine foot tall rather than six. I'm sorry, there must've been a mix-up somewhere, hahaa… I'm Dutch so I have no idea how sizes work not with metric units or whatever!_

* * *

A loud call of "Ohhhhhh!" cut through the air in that little house in the Park.  
Two of its employees were a six-foot-tall blue jay and a smart-alec raccoon, and both were notorious slackers. Instead of going to ask about their jobs for the day, they were playing a retro-styled video game. Both seemed to enjoy it very much. But their earlier victory cries hadn't gone unnoticed at all. Their boss, who just so happened to be an anthropomorphic gumball machine, walked into the room, clipboard in hand – which he almost dropped it when he saw them.  
"Mordecai! Rigby!" he yelled, quite loudly.  
The two paused their game in an instant and while Mordecai looked at his boss with an apologetic expression, Rigby just looked annoyed.  
"Good. Now that I've got your attention…" Benson said, jotting something down on a form that was clipped on his clipboard. "We've got lots to do today. Lots to do…"  
"Does it involve a chilli dog eating competition?" Rigby snickered. Mordecai immediately threw a punch towards the raccoon, who started whining. After all, that incident was rather forgotten than remembered – to him at least.  
"No, it does not," their boss wasn't in the mood for jokes today. "However, it does involve a kids' party."  
"What, again?" Rigby interrupted him. "Last time we did that, we–… please tell me we don't have to set up the chairs again."  
Mordecai gritted his teeth remembering the incident. The last kids' party in the park went… rather awry.  
"I'm not making the same mistake."  
The two slackers both uttered a sigh of relief. They decided to postpone the chanting of 'Not setting up the chairs this time! Not setting up the chairs this time!' for later, however.  
"So I'm putting you two in charge of the special entertainment. No clowns this time, though – I want you two to purchase two piñatas. You know, those papery and candy-filled animals. It's for a party from a bunch of Junior Scouts, so it'd be nice if you could get some woodland animals. Like foxes, or whatever." Benson didn't look up from his clipboard, still furiously writing things down. "I'll cover the costs once they've arrived here."  
"We know what piñatas are, dude," Mordecai said, rolling his eyes. "Where do we even buy a piñata…?"  
"Yeah, it's not like they come from some island or something, heh!" Rigby added with a chuckle.  
Benson didn't find it funny. Not at a time like this – the kids were about to arrive in a few hours and they still had to set everything up. He said nothing and left the room.  
"Just go to a one dollar store. Oh, and don't mess this up or you're fired." He only muttered as he closed the door behind him.  
Rigby groaned loudly, reclining in the chair and looking up. "Jeez, what's his problem today?"  
"I dunno, dude, but we better get those piñatas."  
"But where are we gonna get piñatas…? One dollar stores aren't very reliable."  
Mordecai coaxed his smaller friend to get off the couch and the two ascended the stairs. "Internet."

The old PC finally had started up with a loud, obnoxious rattling and Mordecai clicked on the small icon that connected them to the Internet. Once that had taken its time as well, he went to a standard, run-of-the-mill search engine. Rigby, who was feeling particularly giddy, found it fun to type in gibberish while his friend was attempting to type in the words 'buy piñata online'. He thought it was a riot and began giggling.  
"Dude, knock it off!" Mordecai said and pushed Rigby away, to which he fell off his computer chair with a small thud. It bought the bird time to erase the gibberish and type in what he came here for in the first place.  
"That's no need to push me off!" the annoyed raccoon called from the floor as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Found anything yet?"  
"No, dude, you know how long this thing takes. …Ah, there it is!"  
His eyes quickly scanned the results. Various online auction sites popped up, but this wasn't what they were looking for. Quick delivery, somewhere around their state, would be useful at this point. But then, Mordecai thought Benson should've asked them this at least a week ago if he wanted the piñatas here so quickly…  
He thought of shutting off the PC and going to an one-dollar store would probably be more useful at this point.  
Wait.  
A small, almost unnoticeable link that seemed not like the others popped up between all the standard results. Mordecai squinted and neared closer to the screen, blinking once or twice, with the tip of his beak almost poking against the screen, for it was certainly a most wonderful name…  
"Piñata Central? For all your vibrant, filled-with-fun, and playful premium piñatas for a pretty price?"  
Rigby had lost patience, became distracted, and was looking under Mordecai's bed. He unearthed a copy of Playdude, a magazine that doesn't need much imagination to think of what was in its contents. He began giggling once again.  
"Dude, put that back," Mordecai said as he clicked on the link and turned his head to confront his small, furry friend.  
Rigby chuckled as he flightily flipped through the magazine. "I don't get how you like this so much. I mean, it's pretty bland as heck, dude."  
"Will you forget about it? Come take a look over here. This seems pretty good. They say they've got really fast delivery – 'piñatas are only three clicks away'! But that's probably just their slogan or something…"  
Rigby threw the paper aside and clambered upon his chair again to take a look. The website Mordecai had accessed was quite odd – it looked like some kind of video game's webpage.  
"Langston Lickatoad? I think the dude who made this is just a little bit bonkers." He twirled his finger to the side of his head – the standard gesture for implying something or someone had gone mad.  
The aforementioned frog on the image that was next to his name and a short synopsis about piñatas in general, was smiling, and eerily looked like a piñata himself. Neither Mordecai nor Rigby gave it much thought at all, for they had seen much weirder things before.  
"Hey, there's a button where you can buy 'em. Take a look over there!" Without even asking, Rigby snatched the computer mouse from Mordecai's wing and clicked on a link that said 'Purchase a piñata'.  
They reached a page that showcased many different types of piñata – all animal-like, papery, and colourful. And they all had funny names. Once hovered over their pictures, they gave a small synopsis about the candy they contained and what kind of parties they were best to use for.  
"What'd Benson say again? Woodland critters," Mordecai said. "Well, this would be a whole lot easier if our friend Langston here had put in some categories…"  
They went for a few pages when their eyes fell upon two particular piñatas – a so-called Pretztail and Fudgehog, piñatas that resembled a fox and a hedgehog, respectively.  
"I think these two are good to go," Mordecai muttered and ticked the boxes underneath their images, to which he clicked on a button that placed them in the virtual shopping cart – ahem, 'Cannoñata'. Once he went to finish the transaction and purchase them, he leaned back into his chair, folding his wings behind his back and smirking, proud of his simple achievement.  
Rigby was fed up with waiting around for a chance to annoy Mordecai and continued flipping around in the old issue of Playdude. Mordecai could only face-palm at his friend's short attention span.


	2. Get to that party or you're, uh, fired

On a few hundreds of kilometres off the east coast of the United States in a big building on a large, forested island, Langston Lickatoad woke from his slumber as a faint beeping came from the machine he was supposed to be operating. The little frog put on his hat and looked at the screen. A piñata order! First one today, no less. And what an order it was – no less than two piñatas. He smirked to himself. He was doing his job so well, like always. He'd just get a Taffly muffin to congratulate himself on his achievement and read it later.

Once he came back with his snack, he poked at the touch-screen to select the message. But the moment he had scanned the entire message, his beady eyes widened.  
A Pretztail and a Fudgehog? He only knew two of those respective piñatas, and getting them to go to a party wasn't exactly an easy task. In fact, they were notorious slackers when it concerned their work – not unlike a certain blue jay and raccoon duo.  
Disdainfully, Langston sighed and fetched his net and clipboard. He wasn't positive about it. But at the same time, he'd feel terrible if they couldn't fulfil an order – it'd be terrible for their jobs. All their jobs.  
"But I could at least try." He said to himself as he hopped down the road that led to the main gardens.

Fergy was chilling in his garden, curled up like a content little kitten in the early sun. He was about to doze off when he heard a sound of someone hopping in the distance. His eyes fluttered open at once and he scrambled to hide in some nearby bushes, for he knew all too well who this was.  
"Nowhere to hiiiide," Langston called teasingly as he stood on his tiptoes to look around the area. Fergy wasn't exactly too hard to spot, even when the Fudgehog was hiding – that large, multi-coloured hump of his was like a bright beacon among the earthy greens of the vegetation he hid in. Fergy barely felt the net hitting him, but he began whining anyway.  
"Don't do this to me," he yelped in a terribly whiny voice that hurt Langston's ears. "I'm too young to par_-tyyyy_!"  
"Save it for the judge, heh."  
Langston hopped forward with his 'victim' in tow, who began sobbing dryly while following along meekly. It went surprisingly easy as well – usually the Fudgehog gave a bit more of a challenge. But it was a welcome change. One down, and one to go.

"Why don't you just end it right here?" Fergy whined in a scratchy little voice.  
"Oh, don't be such a drama queen," the Lickatoad mumbled, writing down things on his own clipboard. "I'm just gonna get your friend as well and you're good to go."  
Fergy gasped audibly. "Not Paulie too!"  
"Oh, shush, will you? At least you're going together, right? Try to think positive!" He tried his best to appear stoic, even though Fergy's whines and complaints were slowly getting to him. "Look, it's just a party. You'll come back as soon as it's over with. You've broken down before and every time you became better, right?"  
It didn't have any effect on him at all. He just skittered behind on his short legs, looking down at the ground. Langston did his best to ignore it. He looked off into the distance and noticed something bright and orange.  
"A-ha, there's Paulie." Langston picked up his pace, with Fergy still in tow, calling after the fox-like piñata.  
Meanwhile, in the bushes nearby, another familiar face showed himself – but not a very friendly one. This person was nobody other than Professor Pester, a masked, red-clad harridan who did nothing more gladly than ruining people's fun and stealing candy. His dim-witted henchmen, the Ruffians, were playing a game of tag in the small clearing behind him, uttering their groans, mumbles, and growls at every moment they saw fit. Which was all the time. Obviously, it annoyed Pester, mostly because his undercover hiding spot was not very undercover at all by now.  
"Will you lugubrious lunkheads be quiet, for once?" he yelled at them. It had effect, for they all stood still and looked at him with their creepy yet dumb expressions. One of them lost balance and toppled over.  
"There seems to be something funny going on," he lectured them. "Party Haters Anonymous is being round up to be sent to a party. You know what this means?... Because I surely don't."  
The gang of Ruffians looked around absent-mindedly as usual. The last one began picking his nose.  
"But then, I'm sure, neither do you." Pester resumed standing in his initial position to spy on Langston and co. "But. I'm going to follow them. It must be a really special and unique party if frog-face here is so interested in rounding them both up – and special parties mean lots and lots of candy. And then, victory WILL be mine!"  
He uttered a cliché evil-villain-laugh and resumed standing around. A lone Ruffian hit another over the head to which the unsuspecting baddie fell over.  
"Be quiet!" Pester boomed.

Meanwhile, Paulie was caught as well, and he was complaining just as loudly – though he sounded more annoyed by it than anything.  
"Uh, Langston? Not t' rain on yer parade, or anythin'," the Pretztail began. "But I really had a lot of things to do today, y'know, and uh – I kinda have a cake in the oven…"  
"I'll ask someone to take care of that," Langston said cheerfully as he trailed the two runaway piñatas behind him, smiling all the way. "You two are getting in the Cannoñata today, whether you'd like it or not."  
Paulie sighed. Fergy began crying.  
"Aw, c'mon, Ferg! I'm sure it ain't that bad… n'aww, don't cry," he patted his friend on his head comfortingly. "It'll be fine, trust me!"  
"How can you be so sure about thaaat," Fergy complained in his shrill, squeaky voice. "They're gonna beat us to a pulp and eat our insides!"  
"That would've sounded really wrong if we weren't, like, piñatas. Look, I'm as enthusiastic as you are right now. But I've been thinkin'. Just maybe, it ain't that bad! …Besides, I've got a little plan. We'll be fine."  
"A plan?"  
"Shh, pipe down! Don't let Langston hear."  
"Oh. Right."  
The two commenced following the little frog in silence, all the way to Piñata Central, where the tallest and most colourful tower, with the aforementioned Cannoñata looming over them threateningly.  
"And even if all else fails, you still get an extra candy shot before you go."  
Fergy piped up at once.  
"Heh. Fatty."  
The Fudgehog's gleeful expression took place for a frown at that comment.  
"Just messin' with ya, buddy!" Paulie said and patted his friend behind his head.

They went through every part of the tower without complaints, unusually enough, though Fergy lingered in a certain spot for a bit too long. It should go without saying that it was the free candy that interested the sweet-toothed Fudgehog more than the promise of being bludgeoned with blunt objects.  
Suddenly, a voice from a loudspeaker came, obviously Langston's. "Would Paulie Pretztail and Fergy Fudgehog get into the Cannoñata? There is not much time left."  
"C'mon, Fergs!" Paulie groaned. "You'll get too big to fit in the cannon if you keep this up!"  
The Fudgehog paused for a moment to look at his friend with a frown. "Chill out, man," he said and unflatteringly belched into his friend's face (it should go without saying that they both weren't too thrilled about that action.) "A few more wouldn't hurt! Or a few hundred more."  
Chuckling to himself, he kept slurping down candy to which Paulie just face-palmed.

Meanwhile, Professor Pester and his Ruffians were scaling the tower, and, one by one, they dropped into one of the many cannons.  
"And now it is time for us to play the waiting game," Pester laughed to himself, rubbing his hands together in a nefarious way. His Ruffians had no idea of what was going on at all, but were just blindly following their leader wherever he went. "And then! Victory will –…! Ah, you get it…"  
The echoing voice of Langston enhanced by the loudspeaker came from behind the wall that kept Pester and co. inside the cannon. The villain grinned evilly and… heard a hatch open next to them.  
They were in the wrong cannon.  
He sprang up, using his fellow Ruffians as a stool to get out of the cannon. "We got the wrong one!" he boomed. Grunting as they did, his henchmen followed him and dove behind him into the other cannon as if they dove into a pool.  
"Ow!"  
"Unk!"  
"What's–"  
"Oh my LOG! It's Pester!"  
"Victory will be mine! …It smells like somebody–…"  
"That'd be Fergy."  
"No way, it was you and you know it!"  
"Liar, liar, papier-maché on fire!"  
"BE QUIET!"  
The last one was, obviously, Pester. Outside of the cannon, Langston wasn't paying attention – he had paused for a toilet break. He knew it wasn't according to Piñata Central's strict safety regulations at all, but since everything went well today, why would just this mess up?  
The hand that activated the cannon slowly loomed over the button which would launch the piñatas (as well as their pursuer and his henchmen) all the way to the Park.  
It finally pressed down on the button and the cannon was launched.  
"Viva Piñata!" Fergy and Paulie both called, slightly disdainfully but as loudly as they could, as they were all flying through the air with a breakneck speed.  
"I have no regrets!" And that'd be Pester.  
His Ruffians merely uttered the same growls as they always did.  
When the bunch of piñatas (and the bunch of masked evildoers) had disappeared into the far distance, Langston came back from his break and hopped onto the console.  
"Let's see how they coped with it. Heh, almost feel sorry for 'em already…"  
He tuned in to watch a replay.  
His heart, or whatever he had instead of it, skipped a beat.  
For sandwiched in-between Paulie and the now slightly corpulent Fergy was that red-and-black mask with green eyes he recognized all too well.  
But it was too late.  
"Oh my goodness. I hope the Big Boss doesn't find out, or I'll certainly get my butt fired..."


	3. Fudge and pretzels

_Fun fact; In both their respective cartoons' Dutch dubs, Rigby and Fergy have the same voice actor. The more you know! Alright, back to the story…_

* * *

"What's taking it so long, dude? They said it wouldn't take more than a few hours!"  
"I dunno, that's what you get buying from foreign websites."  
Mordecai groaned loudly. It had taken them so long, so long… and Benson would certainly not forgive them at all this time. They could've just gotten a run-of-the-mill piñata at a store – but oh no, they went to take the hard way out again. They watched everyone else who was employed in the Park put up banners, little multi-coloured flags and tables with fancy tablecloths on them.  
"Alright, I gotta use it. You just stay here in case it arrives. Fat chance." Rigby wasn't too positive about it all, and it chimed through in his voice. He paced towards the house to go to the toilet – but his way was blocked by a large box, one that was bigger than himself. Was it there already? He didn't know, or notice anyone even putting it there.  
'Fragile', it said – and it had apparently came from 'Piñata Central, Piñata Island'. Apart from these curious names and stickers it seemed like any other box, as if it was made specifically to not appear suspicious. Rigby's eyes widened and he uttered a boastful "Hm, hm," even though he hadn't done anything except for turn around to see it just standing there.  
"Hey, Mordecai, I think this is it," he said. His friend immediately came running. "Look at this sticker, dude. It's so frilly and colourful and all that…"  
"Heh. Wow… Piñata Island? Where is that, even? Sounds like something straight out of a videogame. Sure it's not a prank by Muscle Man or anything?"  
"Let's find out."  
They lifted the lid off the large box. No gross stuff splattered on their faces, and there were no explosions either. In the box, surrounded by packing peanuts, were two perfectly crafted piñatas – a fox with a big, poofy tail, and a bright-coloured hedgehog. Mordecai lifted them out and looked at them, seemingly impressed.  
"Look at 'em, dude," he said to Rigby, "Just look at them. You won't get this kind of quality from a one-dollar store."  
"Heh. Let's hope there's candy in 'em – whoa."  
"What is it, man?"  
"I swear the green guy just blinked."  
"Nah, you're making stuff up. Here, help me out," he handed the hedgehog-like piñata to his smaller friend. "Heh. He kinda reminds me of you in some way, dude."  
Rigby only groaned in response, holding the large papery animal with both hands. The two friends paced towards their boss, piñatas still clutched tightly.  
Benson was helping Pops hang up some banners. The elderly lollipop man was at once utterly enthralled by Mordecai and Rigby's piñatas.  
"Oh! They look wonderful!" Pops said in his usual cheerful voice, trailing his hand over the colourful paper of Mordecai's piñata in an admiring way. "What masterful craftsmanship! What are we gonna do with these beautiful works of art?"  
Benson cringed and gestured at his employees to not tell him that they were going to bludgeon these pretty piñatas with blunt objects.  
"We're gonna bludgeon these pretty piñatas with blunt objects." Rigby said in a deadpan voice, insensitive as ever.  
Pops said nothing, but a tell-tale frown on his face said enough.  
"Hahaa… Rigby's just joking around, Pops," Mordecai said. "Yeeeah…"  
"Er, Pops, maybe it's better if you go help out Skips for a moment. He seems troubled with that," Benson quickly suggested. The lolliman immediately piped up and agreed, to which he happily went on his merry way.  
"Don't. Do. That." Their boss hissed through clenched teeth. Rigby bit upon his lower lip and Mordecai frowned.  
"I'm sorry," Rigby muttered.  
"Agh, just – just hang 'em up on that branch there."  
And with those words, Benson followed behind Pops to assist Skips as well.  
Without deciding to say another word, Mordecai and Rigby, still with their piñatas, went to the tree. They placed their piñatas on the ground and went inside the house to get some thread and a pair of scissors – and bats.  
Fergy winked at Paulie to get his attention.  
"Hey. Hey, Paulie," he whispered. His voice went unnoticed, for a radio set was booming nearby. "What's your plan?"  
"We're breaking the piñata code. And we'll end up not losing our candy. Look, just follow my lead. We'll be fine."  
"Breaking the piñata code? No way!"  
Fergy knew all too well about the code, even though he'd never been to a party before. Once a piñata broke the code, they would get penalized. He didn't know how, but he did know it was bad. The Big Boss wanted it to be that way. Nobody must know about the piñatas from Piñata Island except for the piñatas themselves and the admittedly few humans inhabiting it.  
If they did know, they'd find out about their island, and that would bring nothing but terror.  
The code told that piñatas should act like piñatas at parties. This meant, let everything happen to them with a stoic expression and an iron will, and no form of communicating with the partygoers was allowed at all.  
There had been piñatas who'd gotten away with it in the past, but also ones who didn't, and nobody wanted to risk giving away the place of their island.  
"I'm scared…"  
"Fergy, I'm real sorry for ya and I'mma let you finish – in fact, I'd hold you and kiss your head and tell ya everything's gonna be fine, but we shouldn't give away any suspicions."  
"…Kiss my head?"  
"Shush, there they come!"  
They resumed their original poses and mindless stares when Mordecai and Rigby returned in a hurry, supplies in hand. Rigby carried a bunch of scissors and Mordecai was the one with two baseball bats.  
Fergy couldn't help wincing and uttering a barely audible cry, but he was unnoticeably shushed by Paulie.  
"Alright, let's get them up."  
Lucky enough, the scissors were only meant to cut the thread to a suitable size to hang the two on the thick branch. Eventually, the two colourful animals hung from the tree, softly swaying in the gentle breeze.  
"Yeahuh, we did it!" Rigby chimed. "Hey, Mordo, buddy – let's play some Strong Johns."  
"Fine with me, dude," Mordecai muttered. He went to pick up his material when he straightened his back again and looked at the paper animals.  
"They really do look kinda cool. Almost a shame to see them being hit by sticks. Eh," he said as he bent over to pick up his scissors. "What else must one do with a piñata, huh?"  
He grasped at the thread bundle when he felt something hit his head. It was something small, and it wasn't painful either, but it concerned him when he found out what it was.  
It was a small piece of wrapped candy.  
Holding the candy between thumb and index finger, he looked up. Would one of them be broken already or something?  
He fondled the hedgehog-like piñata with one wing, trying to look for an eventual hole to patch it up later. But, he found nothing. Weird. He did the same with the other, but got the same result.  
"Hey, Mordo, you coming or what?" Rigby called after him. The raccoon had already skittered up the stairs and was standing in the door opening.  
"Yeah, right away, dude."  
He shrugged it off and went inside.


End file.
